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I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.
Son: I love you, Dad.
Dad gets in car and drives away.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
I did a walk today and walked today to get my car.
Hi, I did not get your email address. I sent you a...
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.
They never get old.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?
Mario.
If we get this to 1000 dislikes, I will do TWO joking keggars on Halloween.
So what are you waiting for? Hit the button, idiot.