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Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his DENTAL FLOW checked.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the street signs.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get a degree in RHYMEOLOGY!
How did Anakin get away with cheating?
By choking on his wife!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the studio on the other side.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his fillings checked.
Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?
He was worried about getting stuck between the bars.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS!
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
Because he was afraid of getting LOST in the BARS.
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.