Get jokes
The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.
You know Africans don’t get seconds.
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the kitchen?
Because he kept dropping the BEETS!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his ICE checked.
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?
Because he wanted to make some rap deposits!
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the library?
Because he was too loud with his FLOW.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"