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An orphan and a homeless man get into a fight, so he yells in a mirror.

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?

Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)

Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.

Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?

A: He saw the ornaments hanging.

What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?

A 24 killstreak!

Me: Knock knock.

My sister: Who's there?

Me: I eat mop.

My sister: I eat mop who?

My mind: I eat my poo.

My sister getting it.

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:

Orphan: No Way Home.

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."

A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"

I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."

Bootylicious lol

A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?

Because they're not wanted.

Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"