A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
Get Jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
What were the candles doing at a birthday party?
Getting lit.
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
What do you get when you cross a priest with a toilet?
Holy shit.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
Why do gay people get bad grades?
Because they don't get straight A's.
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
