How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
I hope every time you watch YouTube, you get 30 second unskippable ads!
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."
The cycle of Pionel Pessi:
- Ghosting👻
- Diving🐬
- Complaining to teammates😡
- Complaining to refs🤬
- Missing sitters🤦♂️
- Gets a lucky open net tapin⚽️
- Proceed to get 🐐 shouts
- Repeat🔁
People with REAL ball knowledge know he’s just an overrated tapin merchant 😭
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.