New Get Jokes - Page 81 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why is rape worse than death?

Because dead people get way more attention.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"

So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.

How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?

They spray paint it like candy 🍬.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."

What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.

Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Why can’t an orphan get arrested?

Because they're not wanted.

Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

The apples get picked.

Why can't emos stand in chairs?

Because they never get down.

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.