Gender jokes
If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?
"Not now, I have a headache."
The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock ‘cause Jill’s real name is Randy.
Yes, this joke is stolen.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"
Women.
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.