Gender jokes

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?

Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.

What's the difference between yo mama and German men?

The balls... German men don't have them.

What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?

Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.

Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?

They hate it when you hand it to them.

What's the difference between football and rape? Women don't like football.

Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.

Boys are like minis.

Girls are like big pots.

Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.

What’s the difference between rape and marriage?

With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.

Why are lesbians bad at math?

Because they can't multiply.

Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?

One's a superhero, one's a command.

I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”

The bartender says, “No, only women.”

The man then leaves.

I have a lot of respect for trans women.

That surgery takes balls!