A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.
Game Jokes
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
Why was Sally sad?
Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
The king took a shit on the craps table at the casino.
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?
Ling Ling: Truth.
Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?
Ling Ling: Dare.
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
Pool table.
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
I have no puns because I don't play soccer.
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
