Funny jokes

READ THIS OUT LOUD:

This is this cat.

This is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is an cat.

This is idiot cat.

This is a busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat.

this is seconds cat.

NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.

Where did the pig go on holiday?

Snout and about.

Y'all wanna hear a joke? My life.

One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.

A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.

What is an orphan's favorite joke?

"Yo mama" jokes.

I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

Two cows were hiding.

One said: "Moooo."

The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"

If a clown farted, would it smell funny?

One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"

Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."

His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"

Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.

How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?

His dick tastes funny...

Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."

No, a lot's been through you.

What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?

There are twenty of them.

An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."

Are you getting the funnies?

Me nan.

I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:

If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?

My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.

These aren't funny.