Funny jokes

Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?

Son: Sure thing, dad!

Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!

Son: I don't get the joke, dad.

Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.

What do you call a pig that does karate?

PORK-CHOP

It's not funny to joke about orphans. Without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.

Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.

Ok, not really racist but still funny.

Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.

What's a fish's least favorite instrument?

A ClariNET!

Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.

Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...

My name is Ethan, and I don't find this funny.

These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.

Boy: Spell ME.

Girl: M-E.

Boy: You forgot the D.

Girl: There is no D in ME.

Boy: Not yet.

What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.

Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!

Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.

Funny things or weird things to say to someone.

Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.

It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!

Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.

Baby-Bugga-Boo.

Fuzzkins.

Lumpy.

Nilly.

Ninty Minty.

and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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