What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
I have a funny joke: my life.
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.
I apologize for my grammar.
To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
The punchline isn’t apparent.
I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"
