Funny jokes

What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."

I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

"Would you like to play the rape game?"

"No wtf" she replied.

"That's the spirit!"

Yes, I'm CUTE.

C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.

I have a funny joke: my life.

My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.

I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.

What does your mom and a slinky have in common?

They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.

To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.

ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.

Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?

The punchline isn’t apparent.

I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"

Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:

Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?