Funeral

Funeral jokes

Organ Donor

My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.

  • 1
  • Friend

    My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

  • 5
  • Urn

    I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.

    Bucket

    I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

    Memory

    A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.

    Michael Jackson

    When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.

    Song

    After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."

    Coffin

    A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.

    Suicide

    My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.

    Type

    You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.

    Friend

    Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.

    I had a fun funeral / birthday.

    Drunk

    What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

    Event

    My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

    But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.