Funeral jokes
When Cincinnati played Alabama in 2021, they wore black at their funeral! 🤣
You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
What happened when the man died? Yes.
#RIPBOZO
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."
Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.