Funeral Jokes

Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so i cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand im glad to help

Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there

what con you say both at a funeral and during sex???

this whould be much better if you where alive

Saying I’m sorry and I apologise are basically the same thing... except at a funeral

Grandpa's last words,why do you have a chain saw

They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said “Of corpse”!

When I die I what to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or," You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

My grief counselor died, he was so good, I didn't even care.

*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victims Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..." Me: "Honestly...Probably his ass."

My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward

Today I filmed a unboxing video at my friends funeral His parents weren’t to happy

At every funeral it's a try-not-to-say-big-mood-challenge for me

A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.