Funeral jokes
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
Your mom gay.
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
What's black and white and red all over?
A massacre at a funeral.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"
#RIPBOZO