Fucking jokes
I fucked your girl.
What happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking?
He says, "Oh fuck fuck fuck!"
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia. So I ended up doing the YMCA.
One of the students reported a school shooting. That fucking snitch...
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Stop copying each other, fucking losers!
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
Fuck nugget!
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.
When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!
"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"
The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.
A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.