I'm like a teddy bear. I don't like to be fucked.
3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1....2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, "well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples"
Once upon a time,a man said to a woman,I want to fuck you
Lady: I am going to come to your house.
Man: ok. An hour later, the lady is at the mans house. The man meets her outside of the house.
Man: you are going to cum to my house!
And then he fucks her.
Lady: will you fuck me?
Man: no, I don’t have a penis.
Lady pulls down mans pants and looks in them. Yes you do! She says
Man: oh, I forgot it was there.
it's fucked up how people make these jokes and when orphans read them it makes them feel worse about them selfs I should know I'm an orphan
Me:imagine not having hair
Kids: on chemo
Bitch the fuck
Me dont know why trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes1 so does that mean he is some fucking dog
*A man walks into a library* Man: Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide? Librarian: Do you know about our return policy? Suicidal Man: ... Librarian: ... The Woman checking out a book: WHAT THE FUCK?
What Is The Difference Between A Pornstar And Mosquito No One Stops Sucking Say Yes If You Wanna Fuck
People who put jokes on here re Depression are really not nice people, you yourselves are a fucking Joke 😩👎
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
Friend 1- How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain? Me- He could feel it in his bones Friend 1- No, he read the forcast you fucking idiot
Heheh ;3
Tim and Tom where at work Tim say I sick of this I going to act like a idot to get sent home so Tim was on the roof saying I am a light bulb the boss walk in and say Tim go home your acting like a dick the the say Tom why you packing up for he says I can't work in the fucking dark can I
Yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah I gave her everything She took my heart and left me lonely I've been broken, heart's contentious I won't fix, I'd rather weep I'm lost and I'm found, but It's torture being in love I love when you're around But I fucking hate when you leave Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah
One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No," said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."
The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough," his grandpa replied.
The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself."
Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
There were 2 guys in an asylum. One name Kenny and the other is Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny act like he was packing his bags. Nurse said “What are you doin Kenny?” Kenny said “Going to Florida for the week.” Nurse said “Alright see ya when you get back.” Next day Nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny laying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. Nurse said “What are you doing Kenny?” Kenny said “I am at the beach” Nurse said “Oh I forgot your in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back” Bob’s room was across the hall. Nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. Nurse said “Goddamnit Bob what are you doing?” Bob said “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny’s wife right now, he is in Florida for the week”
Kid at schools tells and orphan i fucked your mom orphan whats a mom?
How did the skeleton know it was gonig to rain, he read the weather forecast you fucking idiot.
