2 guys are captured by native chinese they give them 2 choices 1. Death 2. 他妈的 The first guy: what's 他妈的? The chinese fucking The first guy chooses death Second guy to himself: well ill let this sick fucks fuck me at least ill be alive... The chinese :come on we don't have all day Second guy:i chose 他妈的 The chinese: ok 他妈的 to the death
I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?" to which he responded "No". So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".
So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming"
I know, it's an awful joke.
what do you call a shitty movie? one that fucking sucks and shits
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck em
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looled at her pussy and said "Now I will fuck you! " Red pulled-out a shotgun from umder her coat and said "Oh no you"re not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
Q:what’s the hardest thing about fucking a dude with a dildo A:making sure he doesn’t wake up
fuck the school fuck it
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka they guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.
Bartender: Hey that’s some nice jewellery you have there it must be expensive.
Guy: Yeah this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It costs me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain eh.
Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What you do for a living?
Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.
Bartender: What? If that’s the case then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer. You’re a hypocrite that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.
Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right I m living with double standards to justify my actions.
(5 seconds later)
Guy: Aye open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!
A hot girls wants to do suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly smelly homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says "hey you hot babe, let's fuck. She just answers "get the fuck away you ugly bastard". The guy just laughs and says "alright i wait down there".
Are you a race car? Cuz I’m tryna fuck
I was at a friends place yesterday, and... There was A mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep. So I looked in the brothers room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside. You guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you." I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
Think about you are so fucking high that you walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why do people have sex. Because they like going ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me bich I love y
Get a fucking life ya horny bastards
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. Clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today ma'am...we have every flavor you can imagine". Old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream". The clerk says, "Sorry ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have". ""Ok" she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream". The clerk says just a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream". The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?". Finally totally exasperated the clerk says, "Wait a minute lady. Can you spell Van as in vanilla?". "Why of course young man" she says, "V-A-N". "Right" the clerk says, "Can you spell Straw as in strawberry?". "Well of course, Straw", she replied. "Ok then" he says, "Now spell Fuck as in chocolate". She says, "There's no Fuck in chocolate". He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!".
blonde 1: omg! yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian! blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT also blond 2: wait, how much is a Brazilian?
Fuck and sex are hot which is fire
She does not wanna fuck you and she don’t need u clapping them cheeks
Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you, and living in the country? Everybody knows nothing.
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
