Why did you parents abandon you? Because the first thing you dad said to be was; GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE.
You are so skinny that they wont let you ride a fucking roller coaster cuz u flied defore
9/11 was not funny it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah
Ok so not a joke but like- There's. A. Fucking. Noose. In. My. School. Gym.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar foot longs
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing minecraft all night. Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believe that at the time. But now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't
Me: "What are you doing??" Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?" Me: "I don't know." Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*" Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey.
i have an announcement, shadow the hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker he pissd on my fucking wife and he said he dick was this big and i said that's disgusting so im making a callout post on my twitter dot com shadow u got a small dick it looks like this walnut except way smaller
Uder the sheets
Under the sheeeets Me and your mother making your brother
Under the sheets DO do do do dododoodoooddododoodo
SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS
The kid with a gun walked into my class room and fucking shot the teacher. He pointed the gun at me and asked,
"What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey at least he gets free food.
A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again and the birds are having fucking sex!!!
What the fuck.
Now I've seen everything
Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even jesus is not a fucking cunt. Get off this site and go have some sex you fucking virgins.
God damn it. Fuck christianity I fucking 30 years old and still a virgin. THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!!
damn Americans they fucking suck at clash royal.
one day little johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar johnny said can i have puff grandpa said can your dick touch your ass johnny said no then thats your answer later that day johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink johnny said can i have a sip grandpa said the same thing can your dick touch your ass johnny said no then thats your answer later that night johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchin grandpa said hi son can i have a cookie johnny said can your dick touch your ass grandpa said yes johnny said good go fuck yourself
Whoever said men will fuck anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
whoever invented religions. they fucked up. We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
if ur ever bored jus fuck some orphans, what they gonna do, tell they're parents?
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata fuck up
