Fruit jokes
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.
I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
What is an emo's least favorite game? Fruit Ninja.
I find bananas very appeeling.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling very well.
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
What do oranges sweat?
Orange juice. 😂🍊❤️
Applesauce.