Fruit jokes
What is an orange?
World's only not rhyming thing. Hehhhehehehehhe.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
Up your butt with a coconut!
Q: Why did the boy not eat the banana?
A: He was scared the juice might come out.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
What do you get when Glen fucks an orange?
Adam.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
I am a fruitcake. Why? Because I’m fruity and nutty. That’s the joke. Tada!
"Puta, banana in your ear!"
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
What do you call a gay emo kid?
Fruit Ninja.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Only one of them gets picked...
When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."