Fruit jokes
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
What's the difference between an apple and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
What’s brown, fuzzy, and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
What is an orange?
World's only not rhyming thing. Hehhhehehehehhe.
What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?
WhatsApple.
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.