Fruit jokes
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?
WhatsApple.
What is an orange?
World's only not rhyming thing. Hehhhehehehehhe.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
Up your butt with a coconut!
Q: Why did the boy not eat the banana?
A: He was scared the juice might come out.
What do you get when Glen fucks an orange?
Adam.
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
"Puta, banana in your ear!"
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
I am a fruitcake. Why? Because I’m fruity and nutty. That’s the joke. Tada!