Fruit jokes
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice. Hahhaha.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lemon.
Haha! Hahahah! Hahahaah!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do bananas wear into battle? Banana-rama!
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
My sister said she was as fat as a coconut, so I threw one at her and she was right.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked.
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.