How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
Fruit Jokes
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
What's the difference between an apple and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What’s brown, fuzzy, and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?
WhatsApple.
