Fruit jokes
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
What is yellow and smells like bananas?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
"Orphans get picked."
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling very well.
What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.
I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!
My sister said she was as fat as a coconut, so I threw one at her and she was right.
Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"
He was so naughty!
I thought fruit tasted good. I guess I was wrong.
What do you call a banana driving a car?
A banana car.
What is an emo's least favorite game? Fruit Ninja.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
A: One of them gets picked.
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Please take this down, it's not funny at all!
It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!
One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.
When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."
Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."
And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
What's the difference between a bicycle?
A banana, because vests don't have sleeves.