Friends jokes

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

Friend: You are joking.

Me: Joking on deez nuts.

Me: That’s a good WAVE.

Friend: I SEA it.

Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.

Me: I was SHORE it would be good.

Friend: I SEA what you did there.

How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?

B minor.

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!

What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!

The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!

So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"

So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.

How ISS greets their friend.

"You the BOMB!"

My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: .....it...

Friend: No

Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!

Friend: Why are you like this?