Friends jokes

What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!

So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"

My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!

Me: That’s a good WAVE.

Friend: I SEA it.

Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.

Me: I was SHORE it would be good.

Friend: I SEA what you did there.

The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

How ISS greets their friend.

"You the BOMB!"

My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: .....it...

Friend: No

Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!

Friend: Why are you like this?

One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.

My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.

The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.

Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.

There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.

One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.

Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."

My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."