Friends jokes

So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

Friend: You are joking.

Me: Joking on deez nuts.

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!

Me: That’s a good WAVE.

Friend: I SEA it.

Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.

Me: I was SHORE it would be good.

Friend: I SEA what you did there.

The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

How ISS greets their friend.

"You the BOMB!"

My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: .....it...

Friend: No

Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!

Friend: Why are you like this?