Friends jokes

Me: That’s a good WAVE.

Friend: I SEA it.

Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.

Me: I was SHORE it would be good.

Friend: I SEA what you did there.

The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

How ISS greets their friend.

"You the BOMB!"

My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"

One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.

There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.

The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.

Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.

My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.

One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.

Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."

My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."

A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.

Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"

What does the ocean do to its friends?

It waves.

(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)

My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.

Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?

Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.

Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.

Are your forehead and hairline friends? 'Cause they go way back.

Why are friends a lot like snow?

If you pee on them, they disappear.

My "friend" has dyslexia.

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.