Friends jokes

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me while he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.

If a baby cow finds a wolf pup, they will be best friends, but when mummy wolf comes, it’s a fight, so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a secret, but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf found out, but no one got hurt. In fact, the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other, and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long. Their friendship will never break.

-THE END-

This was not a joke but a meaning: if you are different, that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are, so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams, and don’t forget them either. So no matter who you are, don’t let people change who you are. 🐺🐮

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.

Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.

My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!

Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?

You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.

So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D

I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."

My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.

Like if your best friend is emo. *repost* or like if you have a best friend.

Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.

A friend asked me, "Where are you going?" I answered, "6 feet underground."

Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.