Friends jokes

My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.

My friend told me I was so dark that I had no bright ideas.

My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.

I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"

My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.

Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?

Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.

Tell it to your parents and friends!

My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Why does Struan smell so awful? Because he is friends with Jerp.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.

Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.