Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest, after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
One day i was texting my friend on roblox and i made her made her mad. she told me she was gonna kill me. that night she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 pm sharp. but she made sharp in all caps. so i went to the bathroom at pm the next day. now i know what she meant by SHARP on roblox...... she brought a knife and i was in hell by then. like for the next part!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realised that toucan play a game.
A man who drinks a lot is told by his that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him. Later the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no.' He says to his friend' if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Dont worry' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no' the man says producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'Whats the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal
what did the kid with down syndrome say to his friend? -nothing, he had no friends.
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes minded
Today Me and My Best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge and i told him to back up, R.I.P to him.
You never think of how people will react to an event, my friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
Two friends are arguing and one friend says ̈Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs ands or buts about it ̈ and the other friend says ̈Butt He is ̈.
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery
The tree left him hanging though
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits, I guess You could say I have friends with benefits
Where's, my sisters friend oh I forgot we are in Alabama
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing Pin the tail on the donkey? Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
" 5 second rule! "
me and my friends are going to create a steps tribute band we are all in wheelchairs so we are going to be called ramps
