Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends family and food?
Someone told him that Shelby coming round the mountain.
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys 😊😇
So I was on a discord call the other day and one of my friends American buddies joined and we had a conversation.
Until they say: when did pounds change to quid.
And I said: 'they're the exact same thing.'
Then they said:
"but when did it happen?"
So I said:
"when did school change to shooting range?"
friends are like penguins if you stab them they die 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
What do you call a nine year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor
why did the fridge have lots of friends?
Cause it was COOL
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?" Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
Merry christmas my fellow hoes
I gave my blind friend a peice of sand paper, he said it was the most grusome book ever.
dont make fun of the emo kid or he’s gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the suicide squad
Me: a lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant. Friend: like what? Me: my name, my address, my phone number...
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair? Me: Dunno, but i'll probably cut my wrists first
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realised that toucan play a game.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal
what did the kid with down syndrome say to his friend? -nothing, he had no friends.
Jace: ha ha i won dude you suck at monopoly Timmy:Let's play another game *GUNSHOT* Ig i won! Jace:*SCREAMS IN PAIN* Timmy: What? I thought we were playing chutes and ladders!
