Friends Jokes

he gay

When your friend tells your
crush that you like her so yoL
tell his crush he's gay
Oh you're a villain alright, just not a super one!

she drunk

When you show up to a party and your
drunk friend who's been there for hours
hits you with this look..
Ka

im that girl

Here's to the girls:
To the girls who don't
wake up with perfect hair.
Who don't mind eating a Big Mac
instead of a salad. Who don't
wear 50 pounds of makeup.
Who'd rather spend the day in
sweatpants than skinny jeans.
Who love the comfort of T-shirts.
Who don't get all the guys.
Who's not "popular"
but feels like it
when they're with their
friends. Who stick to
sneakers instead of heels.
Who aren't way. Who don't
get everything they want.
Who doesn't need a guy to
tell them that they are beautiful.
OO

Me with lonelylune

A friend will be there
with tissues
But a best friend will be
there with a baseball bat
shouting "Who hurt you
and do I need a shovel?"

Basic Pokémon
May
Transgender Pokémon.
30 HP
Suicidal Karen
Whine like a bitch about your problems and
suicidal tendencies (hopefully you'll annoy
the enemy and they'll retreat?)
weakness
Victimize
This attack only works if allied with a friend.
This creature has none, since it is utterly
repulsive. Making this attack useless.
resistance
20
retreat cost
+40
-40
If you come across this Pokémon in the wild, RUN. Run
away immediately, kill it if you can, but fuckin RUN.
1995, 96, 98 Nintendo, Creatures, GAMEFREAK. 1999 Wizards.
***

So my friend and I went camping at a Cold lake Campground and he jumped into it, without any warning, and so I asked him Wat-er you doing

“Grandma, tell me a story!” I said as we huddled near the campfire “Alright,” She said “Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches.” “Where is Timmy now?” I asked Grandma pointed to the campfire.

Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully she was hot and had a nice ass so it was enjoyable raping her. The next day when i woke up I found her body only half eaten, her lower body was still intact so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast, her ass tasted good with some ketchup.

me after realizing i've
accidentally used friend
group 3 humor with
friend group 1

One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. 'Why are you early, it is not even christmas?' - ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Lets worry about you instead' says Santa. What is the problem my friend?' - I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i'll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!

I'm just gonna say it. And don't get offended but I'm so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male.

Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc.

But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions.

Men have to go to war on the front lines.

Boys have less support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness.

Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven't ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It's because no one will take a man's protest seriously because the media is always against the men.

Man-rape is unheard of in the media and I've never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist.

We are expected to gather up our guts ask a girl to be their girlfriend, we have to take them on dates, pay the bill, buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months worth of the money the man has made.

And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars.

It's because most males do not want females to get hurt. Yet we are criticised for this.

I propose a idea that on the 19 of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work. etc.

Whose going to put out all the fires? The two fire'women' at the local fire station. Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary's and the receptionist?

Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they're are no men around. Let's show them how wrong they are.

(this event can be done worldwide)

Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males.

(I'm not against feminism it's just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere.

But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want and never get criticised or face any consequences.)