Friends jokes

All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.

My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?

My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

My friend Harry.

Hey guys, so we have a friend group and we need followers and people! So far it's me and Royal. If you want to join just comment why and you're in unless people have reasons to not want you!

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"

Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"

Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.

We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.

To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!

Friend: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Your life.

Me: Ahhh, I wish!

*jumps off building*

Guys, add me as a friend in Roblox. I'm hawaiilover973 :D

Why can't orphans have friends?

They will stay together.

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.

A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"

He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.