Friends jokes

Are your forehead and hairline friends? 'Cause they go way back.

All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.

Why are friends a lot like snow?

If you pee on them, they disappear.

My "friend" has dyslexia.

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.

We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.

My friend Harry.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

Hey guys, so we have a friend group and we need followers and people! So far it's me and Royal. If you want to join just comment why and you're in unless people have reasons to not want you!

Friend: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Your life.

Me: Ahhh, I wish!

*jumps off building*

Guys, add me as a friend in Roblox. I'm hawaiilover973 :D

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.

Why can't orphans have friends?

They will stay together.

A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"

He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead, so are you.

(I have no friends because all of my friends play Fortgay, just like my friends all of them are gay.)