Friends jokes
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.
The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.
My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
Are your forehead and hairline old friends because they go way back?
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?
Orphan: I don't have a family.
I'm not racist, my best friends are black for Halloween. :)
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock, so he picked up peacock feathers and then wore them.
Then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange, and then his friends are not his friends anymore, and then after that he says, "Friends, please be my friends again. I'm sorry, I will be the way I am."
I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(