Friend Jokes

why was my mate in mission impossible because he couldn't find his dad

What did the orphans friend give him for his birthday?

Lego so he can build a home.

i hate it when ever i bring a girl over my parents don't care but when i bring one of my friends thats a boy there like KeEp ThE DoOr OpEn and im gay

I asked my friend what their serial number was....he said Cheerios

I had a friend named Mari. Sadly she did drugs. So one day I go up to her and say “Mari-juana do this????” She later asked me to leave forever..... I don’t gnome why but... it CRACKed me up abit!!!

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. (If I explain it, it won't make be funny this is a old joke my friend told me)

You: Finds a time clock that can change time

Your friend the next day: Hey, can borrow yo' house

You: No I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again

My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

Me: Want to hear a joke? Friend: Sure Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me. Friend: What's funny about that? Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it.

Guy 2: Is it a hard life?

Guy: Yup

Guy 2: Then you can't kill yourself LOL

Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the "game"

Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide ? You can't do anything he's already on line

I Copied my friends work It's not like the teacher can tell my parent's

I asked my orphan friend to come to my house, he said he was confused because he didnt know what that is

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose. She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

Once my friends bakery burned down...His business is toast.

*bowl of dark grapes* Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men Friend 2: Black? Good one Friend 1: 21 at a time

Me: Cobain! Friend: No, dude, its Kobe. Me: why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.

Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you? ----- Then there is me: My life.