Friend jokes
My friend's life.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
Ur mom, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I have no friends :'(
"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
How ISS greets their friend.
"You the BOMB!"
I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"