I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day, he replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
What kind of man would be a lesbians best friend? A decimen.
My mom gave my friend for a blow job for god luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview and they both got the job, now who needs good luck got their job interview just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
Friend A.Do you like Wendy's?Friend B.Yes why?Friend A.Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
'i told my black friend a joke'' told him he needs to lighten up!!!
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Why are friends a lot like snow? If you pee on them, they disappear.
why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? because they had no one to pick them up. what's a orphans best friend? a boomarange because it's the only thing that ever came back.
As a son I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him, and she don’t want to be with him no more, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny. Then I told my friend girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out, and wanted to co front me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happen then my mom said the same thing happen to me. I came home one day I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job I ask what’s going on. My friend told your mom is my new girlfriend & my mom said this is the penis of my dreams.
I gave my blind friend a peice of sand paper, he said it was the most grusome book ever.
i got my blind friend a tv.. he never uses it
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!! Richard: What???? Rick: So Before donald trumps impeachment he said " The CoronaVirus will end on march 32nd 2021 Richard: Your from planet arth where there's a march 32nd enjoy it *stupid dumb fuck brother* Rick: Oh I will *It was the day March 21st* *9 Days later* *March 31st* Rick: oh I cant want until tomarrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so exited im gonna give my friends a big'ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man *one day later* *He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it* Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING !ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS *Richard* *oh he's the dumbass*
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
I bought my friend a rope for his birthday he said it was the most violent book ever
Friend a Why you still a virgin bro Friend b I was until was night
Friend a nah nah who with Friend b your sister Friend a I don't have a sister Friend just wait 9 months you'll see
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, I hope that wan't to much to (Handel), (Dont) let it (Strauss) you out. For all of my musicians out there!
What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?
A fungi.
So, I got my blind friend a big Mac for his birthday, a week later he walked up to me and said "Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
