Friend A jokes

So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."

For all of my musicians out there!

What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?

A fungi.

So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: A broken pencil.

Friend: A broken pencil who?

Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

Friend: I got bit.

Other friend: By what?

Friend: A dog.

Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)

What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.

They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.

What do you call a kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.