New Friend A Jokes

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day, he replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

Friend A.Do you like Wendy's?Friend B.Yes why?Friend A.Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

"I told my black friend a joke. I told him he needs to lighten up!"

why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? because they had no one to pick them up. what's a orphans best friend? a boomarange because it's the only thing that ever came back.

As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

I gave my blind friend a peice of sand paper, he said it was the most grusome book ever.

i got my blind friend a tv.. he never uses it

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...

I bought my friend a rope for his birthday he said it was the most violent book ever

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."

For all of my musicians out there!

So, I got my blind friend a big Mac for his birthday, a week later he walked up to me and said "Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

me: knock knock friend: who's there me: a broken pencil friend: a broken pencil who? me: nevermind its pointless

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

Friend: I got bit Other friend: By what? Friend : A dog Other friend :( Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies )