Friend A

Friend A jokes

Cock sucker

    • I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

  • 1

    • Idiot

    • RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!

    Richard: What????

    Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."

    Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.

    Rick: Oh I will.

    *It was the day March 21st*

    *9 Days later*

    *March 31st*

    Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man

    *one day later*

    *He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*

    Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up

    BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS

    *Richard*

    *oh he's the dumbass*

  • 5

    • Prank

    • As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

    Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

  • 1
    • Friend A memes

    Friend

    • So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."

    For all of my musicians out there!

  • 0

    • Rabies

    • Friend: I got bit.

    Other friend: By what?

    Friend: A dog.

    Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)

  • 0

    • Friend

    • So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

    "Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

  • 1

    • Cheese grater

    • I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

  • 6

    • Dick

    • A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

  • 2

    • Monkey

    • Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"

    The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.

  • 4

    • Pencil

    • Me: Knock knock.

    Friend: Who's there?

    Me: A broken pencil.

    Friend: A broken pencil who?

    Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.

    Orphan

    • Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

    What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.