Fri jokes

Baby

  • I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

    So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

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  • Ice cream man

  • I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

    Rice

  • An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”

    The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”

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  • Karen

  • Karen walks into McDonald's.

    Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??

    Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!

    Lady at the counter: yes miss.

    Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.

    Lady at the counter: *sweats*

    Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!

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  • Owner

  • A fat man coming in the store.

    Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

    Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

    Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

    Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

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  • Lie

  • Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.

    KFC

  • KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."

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  • Lie

  • "You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?

    Duck

  • The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"

    The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."

    Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."

    Food

  • Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.

    Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."

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  • Skeleton

  • Why did the skeleton have no friends?

    He was a boner!

    Heheheh!

    Ah, see ya soon kiddo.

    I'm going on break.

    I'll give you some fried snow later!

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