Found jokes

I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...

All I got was "error 404 page not found."

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.

What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?

Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"

My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.

I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.

Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?

Son: Sure thing, dad!

Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!

Son: I don't get the joke, dad.

Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.

Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.

Me: Wow, they found the body already?

Dad: :/

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...

When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.

This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

I found out what DNA stands for. It's the National Dyslexic's Association.

Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?

Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.

What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?

Billy's jeans.

When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.