Forest Jokes

What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest? Panda-monium!

I speak for the trees * Trees whisper in my ear* They said six million wasn't enough

What is a room you can not enter?

A mushroom.

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

"Where do young trees go to learn?" "Elementree school."

Driving through the woods today I saw a boy with a bare behind.

What is forest Gumps password?

1forest1

D you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears :3

What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone

When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.

A bear is like your best mate harry If you stab them They die from a stab wound

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store acorns for winter so now I am dead" haha it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

You know why elmur fludd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods because bugs bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.

All my friends live in a forest. its called Aokigahara

Three guy are in the woods, a a really smart guy, an average, and a really dumb guy, they bored so the smart guy decides to go hunting a little while later he comes back with a dear, the average guy asks how do did you do that? The really smart guy says says I see dear tracks I fallow dear tracks, I see dear I shoot dear. The average guy say I think I understand and leaves, an little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb goes *gasp* how did you do that!?. And the average looks at him funny and says well I see raccoon tracks I fallow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon I shoot raccoon. The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says Oooohh, ok I thiNo I can do that.. and leaves. Hours pass and and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mingled. They run to help him. Finally one of the guys ask him what happened this is what he said: I see train tracks, I fallow train tracks. I see train I shoot train. But train keep coming.