I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
Mushroom?
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
