When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.I think I hid the body pretty well but now I have to hide the gun.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
Can I branch out to some tree puns. Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No.1 pencils? 🤔
My entire family “TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!” Me “OH NO” 💀
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
What do you call a depressed tree? A wood cutter
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle?- cause there are cheetahs!!
wo tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
What tree is every emo kid trying find The hanging tree
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" (Found on the web if you don't like it don't leave a hate comment)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there. Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? LEAF me alone
I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
Why does a woodpecker have a beak ? So as to not smash his head against the tree
