What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
