Food jokes
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
Tamalito.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate.