Food jokes
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
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Memes
Pov: you drop your pizza while eating by the river
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate.
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.