Food jokes

What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?

Breakfast in bed!

Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.

A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.

What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.

What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?

A disorder.

What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?

Spoiled milk.

Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

What is the most musical part of a chicken?

The drumstick.

So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate.

Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?

She doesn't eat pigs.

What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?

Trans-fats.

I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.

Turns out it was a Fanta sea.

What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?

Throwing the cow across the lake.

My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!

I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"

What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!

I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.

My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.

Until I threw a watermelon in her face.