Food jokes
You shouldn’t bully fat people.
They already have enough on their plate.
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
How was your day, Freshfry?
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)
Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?
I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
I love eggs!
Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!