Food jokes
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
What’s a similarity between a priest and McDonald’s?
They both shove their meat between 10 year old buns.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat!
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
"Go get me the lamb sauce!"
I like ramen. If you do, like!
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
What's a benefit of being an orphan? The chips always come in a family size :)
What do orphans call a family photo? A selfie.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! (aka dinner)
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Why did the tomato blush?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...