Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
Food Jokes
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!
Why do gay men like the filling in Hostess Twinkies?
It reminds them of cum. 😋 😍 😏 😜
What do gay men like cocks?
🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋
What is the definition of polish sausage?
🐴🍖 Horse meat.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.
Last time I ate a vegetable, I got banned from my sister's group home.
🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.
No, not like you can ketchup!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
Why did the M&M go to school?
Because it wanted to be a Smartie!
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
Yo hairline be looking like a chicken nugget, headass.
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
