Food jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
Daikon legs.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Egg surprise!
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean meat.
What flour do orphans use whilst making cakes? Self-raising.
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?
Octopie!
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
What do you call a pig at the beach?
Bacon.
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dictator.