Food jokes
What flour do orphans use whilst making cakes? Self-raising.
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?
Octopie!
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
What do you call a pig at the beach?
Bacon.
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dictator.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?
CONSPIRACY!!!
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic.
Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
But why did 7 eat 9?
'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!