Food jokes
Last time I ate a vegetable, I got banned from my sister's group home.
🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.
No, not like you can ketchup!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
Why did the M&M go to school?
Because it wanted to be a Smartie!
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
Yo hairline be looking like a chicken nugget, headass.
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
What is a pup's favorite pizza?
Pupperoni
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Maybe Soy Milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish! (Soy means "I am" in Spanish).
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).