Food jokes
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Egg surprise!
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean meat.
What flour do orphans use whilst making cakes? Self-raising.
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?
Octopie!
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
What do you call a pig at the beach?
Bacon.
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dictator.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?
CONSPIRACY!!!
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.