I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
Food Jokes
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
Banana!
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.
Q: Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
A: Because their dad is shopping for the milk.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
Why can't orphans have chips? Because it's family size.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
